More tranny stories later!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
