How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
