Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
