You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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