the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
