I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
