As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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