porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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