I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
