I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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