So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
