New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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