my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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