worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My feet surprised me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
