Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
