So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
