Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
