We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
