Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
