At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
