okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
