i dont even know how to be here
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
