So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The beer is more important than you right now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
