i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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