Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
