Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
