we're blogging at a bar
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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