I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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