We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
