i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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