last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
