Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
