Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
