question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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