Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
