It's Friday. Sex?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
