It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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