i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
