Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
