he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
