I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We left the knife in your bed.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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