I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
