weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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