So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
