She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
