i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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