Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
