We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize