just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
