It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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