Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
