Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
