she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
