That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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