sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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