Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
