i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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