i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize