Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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