I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
