Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
