If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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