You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
