butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm like, not good at living.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
