how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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