Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
