Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
